Moving in with your mate is serious business. When you’re in love, you feel invincible and impervious to any dead end relationships telling you: “DON’T DO IT GIRL!!!”. But sharing a space with ANYONE (much less someone you’re banging), requires a carefully thought out plan, constant consideration, and in the worst case, an escape route. More often than not, couples move in together out of convenience (be it financial, job location, or sexual urge *what guy doesn’t like the idea of in-house punanny??) I’ll be the first to admit that when it came to my own relationships, there were only two week time periods in which me and homeboy lived separately. “Whirlwind romance” is what I called it. Crazy in love? YES. Recommended? Hell no. The most important thing you must remind yourself is that you’re dealing with a whole separate human being. A spirit that has no obligation to yours whatsoever; one with its own likes, dislikes, and most notably, own agenda.

1. First and foremost, discuss how EACH AND EVERY bill will be divided. Definitely kills the romance factor, but it’s more than necessary. I made the mistake of never wanting to talk about money and when the first of the month came, I was stuck on stupid, scrambling for the rent… all in an effort to seem “independent”. SMH.

2. Don’t move in assuming he’ll put a ring on it. That’s sadly old fashioned and if that’s your motive, then expect NOTHING to fall in your favor. Intention is EVERYTHING and if you pressure him, you might as well push him away. For good.

3. Don’t do it “for the kids”. If mommy and daddy are better off apart, baby can sense it. Don’t add to the stress of being single parents by forcing yourselves to couple up.

4. Respect his taste. So what if your Ming vase doesn’t match his Lazy Boy? Divide the rooms equally to where each of you can create a PERSONAL comfort zone. For example, give him the office while you revamp the kitchen and vice versa. Nothing is ever that serious, especially when it comes to interior decorating. That’s why the word “eclectic” exists.

5. You are NOT alone anymore. If you’re super shy about your mate seeing you sans makeup or covered in pimple cream, take this into consideration. Your personal hygiene products (as well as any toenail clippings, depilatory creams, and/or laxatives) will be on display. If you’re the type to care (sorry to hear if you AREN’T), then cover your tracks and hide your stuff far, far away.

6. DON’T BITCH. This goes for both of you. Don’t complain about his porn collection, soiled undergarments, or leaving the toilet seat up. That way he won’t be compelled to ramble on about your hoarding tendencies or dislike towards cooking. Everyone wins.

7. Know when it’s not working. If you went from Jay and Bey to Ike and Tina, don’t be afraid to admit defeat and move on. Whichever party is moving out, do so QUICKLY and quietly, so not to cause any added mayhem. Yes, that includes NOT cutting up clothes or throwing the flatscreen into the street.

8. Listen to your gut. If there is ONE iota of doubt, or you find yourself making up excuses, DON’T DO IT GIRL. In this case, let time be your bestie.