The Nightmare, by Henry Fuseli (1781) is thought to be one of the classic depictions of sleep paralysis perceived as a demonic visitation.

Normally I wouldn’t post on this kind of thing, if not for the fact that it happened to me this morning. Probably one of the most terrifying experiences of my life. I’m telling my story because if I had known about this phenomenon, I probably wouldn’t have been so frightened.

Just after 9am this morning when I lay down to watch the news, I apparently fell asleep. Not long after, I woke (or at least I thought I had) to find myself paralyzed. My eyes could move and I could see in front of me. I even looked for details, like which of my husbands shirts was hanging on the rocking chair. I could hear the Fox 10 morning newscast playing on the TV. I tried to move my head and move my body but nothing was happening. I could not speak and I could not scream. At this point I panicked and tried to focus on moving my hand toward my phone to call 911 and hope that someone would discover me and help me.

Soon after that I felt a presence in my living room and began to hear and see things/people out of the corner of my eye. I won’t get into detail since I did eventually fully awake, regaining movement and realizing everything was ok. I immediately went to google and searched paralyzed dream and came across a phenomenon called sleep paralysis, which I had never heard of. I found an abundance of recorded accounts that either matched or went above and beyond what I experienced.

I guess what I wondered most is “If this is common and happens to around 30% of people, why had I never heard of it before?”

From Wikipedia: “Sleep paralysis occurs when the brain awakes from a REM state, but the body paralysis persists. This leaves the person fully conscious but unable to move. The paralysis can last from several seconds to several minutes by which the individual may experience panic symptoms. As the correlation with REM sleep suggests, the paralysis is not entirely complete; eye movement is still possible during such episodes.

In addition, the paralysis may be accompanied by terrifying hallucinations and an acute sense of danger. Sleep paralysis is particularly frightening to the individual because of the vividness of such hallucinations. The hallucinatory element to sleep paralysis makes it more likely that someone will interpret the experience as a dream, since dream-like objects may appear in the room alongside one’s normal vision. Some scientists have proposed this condition as an explanation for alien abductions and ghostly encounters.”

From Another Site: “Statistics report that 20% to 40% of people report having had some or other version of sleep paralysis. For a third of them the experience is nothing more than a momentary fear of the possibility of paralysis followed by a swift return to normal. A substantial two thirds of those who report having experienced sleep paralysis describe episodes of hallucinations of varying degrees. In simple language the hallucinations are similar in nature, distinguished only by their association with those experienced at sleep onset and those upon waking.

Features of the hallucinations have often been postulated as an explanation for the proliferation of reports of alien abduction and demon visitation. The reason for this is the characteristic nature of the hallucination. There tends to be certain uniformly experienced features that include the “sense of a presence” that is felt to be malevolent in nature.

People who suffer from sleep paralysis often report the sense of there being someone in the room with them. They speak of a pressure or weight felt on the body, often in the vicinity of the chest area. Whatever the particular configuration of symptoms, all report a vivid level of fear. This is shared by all, even those who, on some level, recognize that the experience is not altogether real.

This vivid and horrific experience of sleep paralysis is not culture specific. It affects people across the world and literature and mythology are full of references to it. In Canada it is called “a visit from the old hag”, in Japan it is being “bound and fastened in metal”. The Mexicans use a phrase that means ” the dead getting on top” and in the southern United States it is known as “the witch riding your back”. “

EDIT: Western Culture refuses to acknowledge these occurrences and they are put off as psychotic episodes. No wonder people don’t speak openly about this. It makes me sad that this happens to people and they are made to believe they are crazy, when all along there are countless recorded accounts and there is somewhat of a legit explanation!

All I know is I hope it never happens to me again, but if it does I may be more relaxed knowing that it will eventually come to an end. Has this ever happened to any of you?

Red hair, milky skin, head to toe freckles, and a mean cocaine habit. No NOT Miss Lohan. Julianne Moore portrayed the quintessential 1970’s porn queen with her role as Amber Waves in the film, Boogie Nights.

I lost my job before I lost my mind, and thank God. I’m not sure where or how I’ll end up employed next but I’m taking some LONG overdue ME TIME. sounds corny I know. but it isn’t. For the first time in my life I don’t have a format. a checklist. or a gang of material rewards that will pat me on the back for being ’successful’. Excuse me world, while I live. I’m taking my time off to see the world the way I’ve always wanted to. without time constraint. without reason. I’ll keep you posted on how that turns out for me.

As of recent Shew and I have been obsessed with our Weeners! (that’s what we call our weener dogs, Ume and Mochi). I may be the ring leader since I’ve already had my pup graduate from puppy school In celebration it was only fitting I purchase pupcakes from Furbabies! Ume celebrated in true treat style with his lil bro Mochi.

I purchased the Chicken and Carrot pupcakes without frosting for the four Weener Dogs I love. Here’s a video [video pending...facebook is being a bia]of them tearing them up. Specifically Mochi. One weener didn’t care for them at all. the other 3 gladly took part! 3 out of 4 weeners approved the pupcakes!

The quality of the product was awesome. There are various flavors to choose from. Because the actual location of Furbabies is pretty far into the east valley I would recommend having them FedEx’d even if you live in-state. The owner is REALLY sweet and says it will only take a day or two. Next time i’ll take the advice, and YES there will be a next time!

on my grind with GoneCorporate once again…new looks, new season, new time, new shit.

Who is Jane Dough?

Sky Harbor Aiport:

I tried to find something ‘healthy’ to eat at the airport and found a stand with these treats. Overall, they were stale…probably because people don’t usually try to eat ‘healthy’ at the airport…and the stand was hardly visited and well stocked. The only thing in this group I’d eat again is the Banana Walnut Bar.

My favorite pizza so far. Not Ray’s Pizza in Forte Green.

fresh sliced mango con chile y sal in Soho.

Mamoun’s falafel near Washington Square Park.

Nuts 4 Nuts on Canal st.

Mister Softee–all over NY

Pequena for brunch.

Baked by Melissa.We had pb&j , cinnamon, peanut butter cup, and tie-dye.

found the BIG GAY ICE CREAM TRUCK in Chelsea. totally regret not getting ice cream here.

Red Velvet Slice from Cake Man Raven

helado cups on the street for 1.00

Writing this makes me think of the “The Freak Show” episode of Sex and The City. Carrie meets charming journalist, Ben and after a fruitless attempt to uncover his “freaky” side- decides to secretly pillage through his belongings the morning after their first sleepover. Upon his unexpected return, Ben finds Carrie standing on his bed, cigarette in hand, trying to crack open a questionable box (which in the end contained nothing more than Ben’s Cub Scout badge collection). She scares him off and Carrie never sees Ben again. Sound familiar? Maybe because 9 times out of 10, we’re faced with similar situations, where we have to decide… should we snoop? Sure it’s an invasion of privacy, sure it’s wrong, but don’t feel bad, it’s not just YOU. Gwen Stefani wrote a song about it after all, when she penned “Bathwater”… “But I still love to wash in your old bathwather, love to think that you couldn’t love another, I can’t help it…you’re my kind of man..” In my own affairs, I’ve pretty much snooped through ALL of my partners’ things, in which I’ve found subpoenas, porn collections, pictures of ex’s… typical, seemingly harmless stuff. ALL of my partners until my current. No clue what sets him apart. Maybe because I’m jaded to the point of ambivalence, maybe because I respect him the tiniest bit more than others (sorry), or maybe because I’m SCARED of what I might find. I’m gonna go with the last one. Two of my close girlfriends have found out about their partners’ “extra curricular activities” via snooping through their cell phones- I call that “phone lurking” and that’s a different story all together. So temptation inevitably reared its ugly head the other day, when a mysterious duffle bag got dropped off in my living room. I didn’t think much of it at first, I could already assume what was in there. After showing me a few prom pictures and a yearbook or two, my current zipped up the bag and nothing else was put on display. But like clockwork, my mind started to drift off: What’s in there? Love letters? A paternity suit of some sort? A severed head? The next day while alone, I stared at the bag for what seemed like an hour. I zipped and unzipped that bag until my neurosis forced me outside to smoke away its fabricated contents. I left it alone. I’m LEAVING it alone. It’s the right thing to do. If YOU decide to snoop on a lover, be cautious. Be mentally prepared to deal with whatever or WHOEVER you may find… a cheater, a deadbeat dad, a closeted gay perhaps? Most important, be aware of when they’ll come home, you don’t want to get caught like Carrie do you? Everyone has a PAST. Can you get over it? I did… I think.

“Forgive but don’t forget- girl keep ya head up.”

50 cent

Dj Whoo Kid

Tony Yayo

My interview with 50! He says Diddy sucks, how he dropped all that weight, and that Miley Cyrus is his next baby mama!

It seems like everyone in my close circle of friends is prego. I came across these photos from the lovely Cha Gutierrez‘ blog and thought I’d share. What a beautiful idea for a shower invitation. Check out more of Cha’s work HERE .