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There’s a million and one reasons to be downright SCARED of meeting your other half’s mother. Personally speaking, I’ve never been one to be LOVED by anyone’s mom (or dad for that matter). I was always kind of the wild card; a rough around the edges type that parents consistently frowned upon and I guess it kind of just stuck with me. So two years ago when I met my current’s mom, I was nervous.. no I was terrified in fact. It had been brought to my attention that she took a STRONG liking to my guy’s former flame-which is fine, I just wish I hadn’t discovered that. I knew I had HUGE shoes to fill and hoped to make a decent impression. The day of her arrival came and I was a mess. I had just wrapped a shoot with The Fiends and in addition to my caked on makeup, I had press-on’s attached to my fingers by a heavy dose of nail glue (a nail NO NO). Between scrubbing my face, RE-APPLYING my face, soaking and scraping my nails, and finding the “right” outfit… I was trying my hardest to fabricate an excuse to back out of our meeting. My current didn’t buy it. Needless to say, the meeting was a success and all is well in the world (besides being deleted from her Facebook 
) Here’s what you need to know when YOU meet mom:
1. DO NOT inquire about the relationship between mom and ex. Bottom line, you DON’T want to go there. If your significant other imposes too much info on you, stop them in their tracks (as I should have). This will save you from feeling inadequate, insecure, or in-ANYTHING really.
2. Put your best face forward. If you’re a makeup junkie like myself, bring it down a notch. If you’re a minimalist, amp it up a bit. Don’t try any new hair styles, cuts, or colors. Put forth a polished version of YOURSELF. If you’re stubborn and think “if she doesn’t like me for who I AM then forget it”… think again. You want YOUR family to have a good impression on your own newcomer right? So clean it up and keep it moving.
3. When it comes to dressing, basics are your bff. That’s fine if you prefer PVC over a puff sleeved cardigan, just save it for another time. Flats, wedges, or sandals (pedicure please) should be worn vs. stilettos… ONLY because you don’t want to run the risk of stumbling all over the place-especially if there is wine at dinner- which brings me to an especially sensitive subject…
4. DON’T GET DRUNK!! Alcohol is a great way to loosen up stiff nerves, but before you reach for the bottle, keep this in mind: NO ONE LIKES A LUSH. I made the embarrassing mistake of drinking too much red wine and became brave enough to declare how “hot” my boyfriend’s family was. DON’T DO THIS.
5. Make sure your other half minds his/her manners enough to PROPERLY introduce you: “Mom, this is my GIRLFRIEND, So-and-So”, as well as keep the conversation going. There is nothing worse than uncomfortably sharing silence. *I capitalized “girlfriend” since the term “friend” is insulting when in fact, you’re more than that. Think of the first time Carrie met Big’s mom in church. Hello awkward!
6. Going hand in hand with rule #4, DON’T TAKE DRUGS. There is a pill for everything these days, but calm your nerves au natural. Save your Soma coma for a rainy day.
7. Mind your OWN manners. Say please and thank you and check your teeth often.
8. Worst case scenario: You’re called by the ex’s first name. Don’t fret… just breathe and politely state that you would LOVE to have such a COMMON name as hers
9. Send a follow up note via SNAIL MAIL: “Dear Ms. So-and-So, thanks so much for inviting me to meet you and your lovely family… the meatloaf was divine.” She’ll be impressed and thankful that her son/daughter has found someone so thoughtful.
10. Relax and enjoy yourself. Remember that “Ms. So-and So” is a woman too, one with her own flaws and insecurities. And in the end, if she doesn’t like you for who you are then forget it
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August 12 2010 |
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Self Tanning = Safe Tanning
Sun-Tanning causes wrinkles, other signs of premature aging, and skin cancer. It can take years to come to the surface, but it WILL catch up with you. Self-Tanning products have a come a long way in recent years, so there’s really no reason to risk it.
Here are my tips to getting natural, even color INDOORS…
1. Always Exfoliate Before Self Tanning
If you start with a smooth/even surface, you are more likely to get smooth/even results. I like to exfoliate my body with St. Ives Apricot Scrub in the shower before self tanning. St. Ives Apricot Scrub is available at most grocery and drug stores for around $4.
Ps. This is the regular apricot scrub, NOT the blemish fighting scrub.
2. Moisturize Skin After Exfoliating
After exfoliating in your shower, but before applying self tanner, apply moisturizer to your body. When your skin is smooth and moisturized, self tanner is less likely to grab onto dry patches of skin, causing a blotchiness.
3. Use a Self Tanning Mitt
Self tanning mitts are inexpensive. They allow for easy/even application, and they cut your self tanning time in half. I always use a self tanning mitt to buff self tanner into my skin. It’s quick and it protects my hands from coming in contact with self tanner.
Self Tanning Mitts are available at Ulta stores and other beauty supply stores for only a few dollars.
4. Use a Good Self Tanner
No matter how well you prep your skin, if you slap on a bad self tanner, you’re just going to end up looking a streaky-orange mess. I recently tried the above Summer Lovers Self Tanning Mousse by Napoleon Perdis and I fell in LOVE with it. It pumps out a blue-green tinted foam with a tropical scent. You know you are going to get good color when your self tanner has a blue-green tint to it.
Blue counteracts Orange… No Oompa Loompas here
The Summer Lovers Self Tanning Mousse dries quickly and does not transfer onto sheets or clothes. It gradually develops into a natural, even tan. The developing smell comes at a minimum and is much more tolerable than any other self tanner I’ve used. Apply it before bed and you will probably never even smell it. You may need to apply this a couple consecutive days depending on how deep you want your tan to go. I recommend this to girls with fair to light/medium complexions because it gives gradual, natural results.
Napoleon Perdis Summer Lovers Self Tanning Mousse is available at ULTA stores for $37.
Moving in with your mate is serious business. When you’re in love, you feel invincible and impervious to any dead end relationships telling you: “DON’T DO IT GIRL!!!”. But sharing a space with ANYONE (much less someone you’re banging), requires a carefully thought out plan, constant consideration, and in the worst case, an escape route. More often than not, couples move in together out of convenience (be it financial, job location, or sexual urge *what guy doesn’t like the idea of in-house punanny??) I’ll be the first to admit that when it came to my own relationships, there were only two week time periods in which me and homeboy lived separately. “Whirlwind romance” is what I called it. Crazy in love? YES. Recommended? Hell no. The most important thing you must remind yourself is that you’re dealing with a whole separate human being. A spirit that has no obligation to yours whatsoever; one with its own likes, dislikes, and most notably, own agenda.
1. First and foremost, discuss how EACH AND EVERY bill will be divided. Definitely kills the romance factor, but it’s more than necessary. I made the mistake of never wanting to talk about money and when the first of the month came, I was stuck on stupid, scrambling for the rent… all in an effort to seem “independent”. SMH.
2. Don’t move in assuming he’ll put a ring on it. That’s sadly old fashioned and if that’s your motive, then expect NOTHING to fall in your favor. Intention is EVERYTHING and if you pressure him, you might as well push him away. For good.
3. Don’t do it “for the kids”. If mommy and daddy are better off apart, baby can sense it. Don’t add to the stress of being single parents by forcing yourselves to couple up.
4. Respect his taste. So what if your Ming vase doesn’t match his Lazy Boy? Divide the rooms equally to where each of you can create a PERSONAL comfort zone. For example, give him the office while you revamp the kitchen and vice versa. Nothing is ever that serious, especially when it comes to interior decorating. That’s why the word “eclectic” exists.
5. You are NOT alone anymore. If you’re super shy about your mate seeing you sans makeup or covered in pimple cream, take this into consideration. Your personal hygiene products (as well as any toenail clippings, depilatory creams, and/or laxatives) will be on display. If you’re the type to care (sorry to hear if you AREN’T), then cover your tracks and hide your stuff far, far away.
6. DON’T BITCH. This goes for both of you. Don’t complain about his porn collection, soiled undergarments, or leaving the toilet seat up. That way he won’t be compelled to ramble on about your hoarding tendencies or dislike towards cooking. Everyone wins.
7. Know when it’s not working. If you went from Jay and Bey to Ike and Tina, don’t be afraid to admit defeat and move on. Whichever party is moving out, do so QUICKLY and quietly, so not to cause any added mayhem. Yes, that includes NOT cutting up clothes or throwing the flatscreen into the street.
8. Listen to your gut. If there is ONE iota of doubt, or you find yourself making up excuses, DON’T DO IT GIRL. In this case, let time be your bestie.
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July 24 2010 |
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Writing this makes me think of the “The Freak Show” episode of Sex and The City. Carrie meets charming journalist, Ben and after a fruitless attempt to uncover his “freaky” side- decides to secretly pillage through his belongings the morning after their first sleepover. Upon his unexpected return, Ben finds Carrie standing on his bed, cigarette in hand, trying to crack open a questionable box (which in the end contained nothing more than Ben’s Cub Scout badge collection). She scares him off and Carrie never sees Ben again. Sound familiar? Maybe because 9 times out of 10, we’re faced with similar situations, where we have to decide… should we snoop? Sure it’s an invasion of privacy, sure it’s wrong, but don’t feel bad, it’s not just YOU. Gwen Stefani wrote a song about it after all, when she penned “Bathwater”… “But I still love to wash in your old bathwather, love to think that you couldn’t love another, I can’t help it…you’re my kind of man..” In my own affairs, I’ve pretty much snooped through ALL of my partners’ things, in which I’ve found subpoenas, porn collections, pictures of ex’s… typical, seemingly harmless stuff. ALL of my partners until my current. No clue what sets him apart. Maybe because I’m jaded to the point of ambivalence, maybe because I respect him the tiniest bit more than others (sorry), or maybe because I’m SCARED of what I might find. I’m gonna go with the last one. Two of my close girlfriends have found out about their partners’ “extra curricular activities” via snooping through their cell phones- I call that “phone lurking” and that’s a different story all together. So temptation inevitably reared its ugly head the other day, when a mysterious duffle bag got dropped off in my living room. I didn’t think much of it at first, I could already assume what was in there. After showing me a few prom pictures and a yearbook or two, my current zipped up the bag and nothing else was put on display. But like clockwork, my mind started to drift off: What’s in there? Love letters? A paternity suit of some sort? A severed head? The next day while alone, I stared at the bag for what seemed like an hour. I zipped and unzipped that bag until my neurosis forced me outside to smoke away its fabricated contents. I left it alone. I’m LEAVING it alone. It’s the right thing to do. If YOU decide to snoop on a lover, be cautious. Be mentally prepared to deal with whatever or WHOEVER you may find… a cheater, a deadbeat dad, a closeted gay perhaps? Most important, be aware of when they’ll come home, you don’t want to get caught like Carrie do you? Everyone has a PAST. Can you get over it? I did… I think.
Whether you need to cover some serious dark circles, a blemish, or just brighten up your tired eyes, concealer is your friend. There are so many out there too choose from, so how do you know which is right for you? The following concealers are Shew tried and true, and believe it or not I have them ALL in my makeup arsenal. Depending on your skin type, specific concern, or desired finish, the following reviews can help you choose your ideal concealer.
MAC Studio Finish SPF 35 Concealer $16.50
I love love love this for having SPF 35. Anyone who asks me what they can do to prevent wrinkles, I always tell them that sunscreen is the only real way to prevent wrinkles. Since the eye area is usually the first place wrinkles start to show, what better place to use a product with spf than the under eye area. I always use MAC Studio Finish SPF 35 concealer when I am going to be outdoors. It applies creamy, but dries to a satiny finish and covers under eye circles nicely. I use my ring finger to warm it up and then gently pat it on.
Tip: When concealing under eye circles I use a color slightly lighter than my foundation shade.
I am an NC 25/30 in MAC coloring but I always use NW 20/25 for my under eye area.
Make Up For Ever Full Cover Concealer $30
This particular concealer is great for concealing pesky bumps or blemishes. If I have a hormonal jawline cyst I will dot this right on top with the corner of my beauty blender sponge. It is long-lasting, oil free, and has a full-coverage MATTEÂ finish which is perfect for concealing blemishes because the last thing you want to do is highlight a blemish.
Tip: When concealing a blemish, the color should match your foundation shade.
I am an NC25/30 in MAC and I use MUFE Full Cover concealer in Ivory 6.
I love how creamy and blendable this brightening concealer is. It is perfect for the under eye area. It is extremely pigmented so you only need a tiny bit. I warm this with my ring finger and gently pat it under my eye area. It instantly brightens up the area. This is great if you have a tired-eye look. Since this is so creamy, I recommend setting it with a good setting powder. Concealers as creamy as this one have a tendency to crease.
Tip: Both Fair and Medium were workable colors for me. If you are my coloring I recommend Fair if you want a more brightening effect or Medium if it is more to conceal.
Lancome Effacernes Waterproof Protective Undereye Concealer $28.50
I recommend this concealer to anyone who has SERIOUS dark under eye circles. It has super coverage but still manages to keep a natural, soft matte finish. This concealer will NOT budge and is waterproof so it’s great for the Summer time heat or a night out of dancing.
Tip: A little goes a long way. Start out small and use your ring fingers to rub together and gently pat on your under eye circles. Blend quickly, once this dries it really will not budge. I use Light Buff.
Yves Saint Laurent Touche Éclat $40
This is very popular with makeup artists and celebrities, but it is important to know that this is a luminizing pen. Many women hear the raves about this product and assume that it will cover their dark circles. This will NOT cover dark under eye circles. It’s for people who just need some brightening up. I like it for the eyes, nose, and lips area. It brightens up the face and eliminates that tired, worn-out look.
Tip: Click pen to release product into the brush. Apply to areas where you need some brightening radiance and gently blend. I use #2.
Much love and thanks to my friend, Christina for gifting me with this. Relationships are NO walk in the park for me. The constant tug of war between the sexes is sadly inevitable. It’s not just YOU. It’s not just THEM. It’s…planetary alignment. Who ME… jaded??? NAHHH. I just know better now! It’s boy vs. girl in the world series of love, but who says you can’t let the stars be your pitcher? Sextrology by Starsky + Cox does just so, offering a sexually charged, astrological glimpse into your mate’s heart, head, and um pelvic region. You’ll be shocked with how accurate it is.
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June 09 2010 |
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It doesn’t grab your attention in the same way that Chris Brown’s new video might have,
but it’s definitely a must-see.
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May 27 2010 |
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I finally got a chance to read Kelly Cutrone’s If You Have To Cry, Go Outside: And Other Things Your Mother Never Told You. I’ve been following Kelly’s career for some time now (PRE Hills, City, and Kell On Earth) and it was only a matter of time before her antics would propel her into icon status. Sure you can say much of her work has been sensationalized, or that her shows are “too commercial”…but any woman ready to embark on her own personal journey, whatever that may be, should read this book. I assisted a lady much like Ms. Cutrone, and although I’ve become relatively successful on my own path, there are days when I actually miss fetching coffee for someone. READ THIS BOOK.
It’s been my honor to be in charge of all non-flower lei’s when it comes to graduations in our family. The time has come when MY first sibling is graduating from high school which means I’ll be sprawled out on my living room floor tying candy leis together. I also make ribbon leis, money leis, and will now be adding soda top leis to my arsenal. I’ll take pics when I make MINE, but until then I did you the liberty of pulling up youtube videos of non-flower leis you can make for your special one. Leis are for all people, not just islanders…join in!
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April 27 2010 |
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We are pleased to introduce Christopher Plentywounds as our FIEND of the Week. This 18 year old up and coming artist out of Phoenix, Arizona specializes in making amazing artwear out of newspaper and other recycled materials. We are confident that this “Paperboy” is headed straight to the top.
(Click on the pic to meet our FIEND of the week)
If you would like to be a FIEND of the Week, please send a photo, quick bio, and link to TheFreshFiends@gmail.com
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